when my child is being rebellious

7 Perfunctory Prayers for Parenting

Those of you who know me or even scarcely follow me on social media, know that I have four kids whom I love and adore. Elijah, our oldest, is 14. Then there is Jeremiah who is 12. Joshua is 8 and Triniti, the only girl, is 25 (she’s really only 5 but if you meet her one time, you will quickly understand).

Each child comes with his or her unique joys and challenges. Managing these differences is difficult at times. Parenting teaches you a lot about life, yourself and your spouse.

One surprise about become a father, is the connection it gave me with God. Not just because being a dad necessitates MUCH prayer. But also as I relate to God as my father and the merciful way in which He cares for me, it helps me better deal with the dilemmas of fatherhood.

So for all of the fathers, and mothers, out there; here are seven short prayers to help carry you through this rough and ever-turning journey:

  1. Father, when my child is being rebellious, help me not to take it personally.
  2. Father, give me the wisdom and strength to do my number one parental duty: showing them You.
  3. Father, help me to properly handle the responsibility of being the first god in their lives.
  4. Father, recognizing that we are all born into sin and my children, too, need a Savior, help me take them to you always and in all ways.
  5. Father, help me to be patient as my disobedience may increase in my children with age but will decrease with maturity.
  6. Father, as a disciple of Christ, help me to train my children to follow You also.
  7. Father, help me to pray for them and with them – often and continually.

Amen. Our children are a unique gift that God has given us stewardship over. Handle with care!

when my child is being rebellious

Change is the only true constant

Profit in Loss

Change is the only true constant in our lives. It is an inevitable, ever-present element of being human.

Each moment you are different than the last. You may be better. You may be worse. One thing you aren’t is the same.


A familiar part of life’s ever-changing variables is that of transformation.

Transformation sounds amazing. However, most aren’t ready the most unavoidable part of growth – loss.

Loss & PainChristiansInTheClouds banner

Loss can be painful and frustrating. Whether it’s something as simple as the mate to your favorite pair of socks or as devastating as a close family member, loss is inescapable.

While going through the pain, it feels as though we can’t or would prefer not to move on with life. For many people, pain is paralyzing. They become numb and unable to place one foot in front of another. Then after time flies by, they begin to wonder…

Which is more painful? Moving forward or staying still?

Being Stuck Sucks

No one likes to be stuck. Try this… if you had to be stuck anywhere, in any situation; what would that be? Can’t think of anything?

Maybe that is because being complacent is actually more painful than being forced to move forward.

The point is…
Stop staying still
Being stuck sucks
Complacency is for cowards
Move anywhere but nowhere
Your feet are made for walking
When time takes flight, be aboard
Renewal is the precursor to transformation
Loss is a milestone on the journey to greatness
You can’t grab tomorrow while holding on to yesterday
Holding on makes you heavy, letting go makes you lighter for take off

Be open-minded and in full acceptance of life’s changes. There is often profit in loss!

Where love is, there God is.

Where are You Going? 7 Places to #Love

Where love is, there God is.

Where are you today?
Where are you going?

In my life I have been a few places that made me think, “God is nowhere near here?”

But God CAN be everywhere and anywhere.

Where love is, there God is.

In other words, if you commit to being loving, God commits to being present. God is love (1 John 4:8), after all.

So, where are you going today? Everywhere you step, take love with you.

1. Take God to work. Love your coworkers.
2. Take God to the hospitals. Love the sick.
3. Take God home. Love your family.
4. Take God on the highway. Drive lovingly.
5. Take God to lunch. Love your friends.
6. Take God to the streets. Love a stranger.
7. Take God in. LOVE YOURSELF.

Where will you take God today?!

Where love is, there God is.


learn to celebrate your teammates

How I Turn a Pain into a Party – Tough Teaming

Are you a part of a team? In one way or another – unless you are living under a rock – you are probably teaming.

Co-parenting is teaming.
Marriage is teaming.
Growing a business is teaming.
Christianity is teaming.

A good team is comprised of various styles, preferences and skills. The most challenging part of teaming is deal with different personalities. Differences in opinions can cause a team to quickly crumble.

There is a secret glue which will hold the toughest tempers together – CELEBRATION.

Whether you’re leading the team or an invaluable contributor, learn to celebrate your teammates.

There is something to celebrate in everyone – even the most antagonistic or arrogant of individuals. If someone on your team appears to be a trouble-maker, maybe just have to find the winning formula to glorify their strengths. Throwing them their own personal party can create the atmosphere of comfort their need to truly thrive versus being a threat.

Celebrate different personalities:
Lionize the introvert.
Laud the loud-mouth.
Exalt the over-analyzer.
Carouse the aggressor.
Bless the leader.
Revere the researcher.
Commend the know-it-all.

We all deserve to be celebrated – for our strengthens and our weaknesses.

How do you solve your biggest problems when teaming?


I Had to Go Away

Some of you may know but many of you don’t… I have been on sabbatical from my pastoral duties for the past couple of months.

Many of you have reached in concern for me. I truly appreciate that. Your prayers and presence are felt.

Well, I am glad to announce that I am slowly reentering the pasture (which will include more of these wonderful blog posts!)

What’s a Sabbatical, Anyway?

Just in case you aren’t familiar with the idea of take a sabbatical, let me help you understand…

It’s a leave of absence
Time off
A break

In adult world, it’s like taking an extended recess (minus the kick ball). Or think of it as summer vacation.

It’s fun to use Uban Dictionary for definitions from time to time. They’re so… let’s say, colorful. But their definition of “sabbatical” is actually quite tame. They describe it as a prolonged hiatus in the career of an otherwise successful individual taken in order to fulfill some dream.

I like this explanation because it shines light on the purpose of taking time off – to be filled full.

Why a Sabbatical is so Important?

A sabbatical can quickly turn in to a meaningless holiday without achieving some sense of accomplishment, receiving the answer to some deep, internal conundrum or discharging mounds of toxic thinking or external threats. After the time away, one should feel refreshed, enlightened and ready to continue running the race.

When a pastor takes a sabbatical, we spend time in prayer and study. It’s a period of communion with God, family and one’s self.

Sabbaticals are important – especially in ministry leadership. It is wise to do so, even above a regular vacation. This is truly been one of best times.

Why Did I Go on Sabbatical?

When God told me to take a break; I can honestly say I wanted to rebel, fall on the ground and kick/scream like a three-year-old. But after I got over myself; I sought Spiritual advice, talked to my wife and announced the news to Manifestation Team Members. Everyone one was supportive – even if they didn’t fully understand. But the reality is that I didn’t fully understand myself. I was walking in faith.

Now, one the other side of the experience, I have more revelation about MY sabbatical’s purpose. Allow me to share:

Being a shepherd is like riding a roller coaster.

Pastoring is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. There many great rewards, but no other occupation is more holistically demanding. We can go from long nights with a couple in crisis to early mornings immersed in meditation.

My sabbatical is allowing me to get off the roller coaster to enjoy other attractions in the amusement park called life without distractions. While here, I can share a funnel cake with my wife and relish the laughter of my first grader.

Being a minister is like being an ER doctor.

When duty calls, we go. Although I am not slave to my cell phone (yet) I do try to quickly be responsive to the needs of others. As an entrepreneurial minister, my tasks are extensive. I am the pastor, secretary, visionary, janitor, bus driver, cook, counselor, mentor, worship leader, community activist, YouTube personality, brand ambassador, IT guy and Sunday school teacher. This is all necessary to get a healthy ministry up and running.

My sabbatical is allowing me to leave the fast pace of the proverbial operating room to taking flowers to a loved one in hospice. This is an analogy of course… I simply mean I get to shift pace and focus.

Being ecclesiastic is like getting a doctorate degree.

Sometimes we spend so much time studying the Bible we don’t get to enjoy it or apply it. I am constantly reading for sermon prep and leadership development. Sometimes this takes a front seat to personal develop and reading my children a bedtime story.

My sabbatical is allowing me to fall asleep while reading a good book for leisure and see the Minions Movie with my kids. And reading has become like eating cold piece of fruit on a summer day rather than forcing down a salad while on a diet.

Being a pastor is like burning a candle at both ends.

Burnout is a real issue in church work. It is possibly why so many pastors get divorced, have chronic illnesses, commit suicide and are distant from their children. There is only so much a single person can take. So prevention is key.

My sabbatical is allowing me to change a potential wild fire into an Independence Day sparkler. Which would you prefer? I’m sure my toddler, Triniti, would a fireworks display over a consuming blaze.

Family First

You may have noticed that every benefit of my sabbatical also profited my family. Connecting with them makes it all worthwhile. My ministry involves my family 100%. Therefore, we all needed some time away to grow closer to each other and to God.

During this time, the Lord has exceed my expectations. I started a new job, we are living in a new house, the kids are starting new schools and we are getting a new car. With so much transition all at once, I need time to concentrate on what matters most – family.

The material benefits pale in comparison to the emotional and spiritual ones. My wife and I are closer than ever, my kids are happier and our time in prayer and with one another has increased exponentially.

What’s Next?

Sabbaticals should be purposeful. And I can honestly say this one was. God has given me greater clarity and strategy for managing every aspect of my life – marriage, parenting, business, ministry and person health.

Now it’s time to get back to work. The hiatus ends next month. But I won’t be jumping into the deep end of the pool quite yet. Initially I will wade a little, get used to temperature then take a few strokes. In no time we will be full speed ahead.

Thank you to everyone for all of your support, prayers and gestures of care. This weekend Latrese and I are at the General Assembly for the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) to learn more about the work of the Kingdom. Pray for us during our time away and be ready for action when we return.

Are you ready to continue the journey with me?

Love (still Pastor) Terrell L

Philippians 4-6

I’m Stressed Out! What Should I Do?

Most psychologists would say that anxiety is a normal part of life. Do you agree?

I’m sure most of you don’t. Matter of fact, most people wouldn’t consider themselves a worrier and would deny the idea of being plagued with fear.

The reality is that the everyday pressures of life can be emotionally and mentally exhausting.

Do I have enough money?
How can I make my relationship better?
What if my health gets worst?
Am I capable to succeed in school?

These concerns may just be NORMAL. Maybe you don’t struggle in this area. But there are those who find life a little tougher than others.

Do you know anyone with OCD? For the record, obsessive-compulsive disorder may appear laughable when we enjoy a rerun of the TV show Monk. But the people who are truly consumed with a need for symmetry or surgical cleanliness know how deeply debilitating the situation can be.

The point is: Whether you are stressed out over a new job, needy children or the towels being folded wrong, we all worry about something.

The good news is that stress can be managed. You CAN live a life of minimal anxiety. Living the abundant life Jesus can to give us does not have to mean a lifetime of burden and agony.

What does the Bible say about stress, worry and anxiety?

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

1. The remedy for anxiety is constant prayer. I’m referring to gathering the Saints together for a service or going a 40 week fast, but truly staying prayerful at all times and about all things.
2. When you get tired of praying for yourself, go into thanksgiving. Start thanking God for at all times and for all things.
3. Then after that, increase your supplication – beg and plead for relief from God.
4. Actually, God knows our wants or desires without us telling Him and He knows we need for better than we do; but He wants us to demonstrate that we value the mercy and full dependence on Him.

Here are other scriptures that may help you:

Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Psalm 118:5-6 Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

In what ways do you release yourself from stress?

Allow yourself to mentally escape into your greater, possible future.

Are You Ready to Add Value to Yourself?

Do you ever think about your potential?
All the time, right?

As a life coach and spiritual mentor, I have devoted my life to helping people not only realize but fulfill their God-ordained potential.

So go ahead…
Ask yourself…

What COULD I be?!

Don’t get caught up in overly thinking about what you currently are. Allow yourself to mentally escape into your greater, possible future.

Where are you living?
Are you in a relationship?
What church do you go to?
Where do you work?
How many books have you written?
What new friends have you made?
How is God using you?

I’ve written a few posts about VALUE:
Do You Value (Fill in the Blank)?
Happy ValueGiving Day
Write a Family Value Statement

Each of them primarily encourage you to add value to others. Today, I want to encourage you to add value to YOURSELF.

In what ways can you add value to you life? What would catapult you to that future self you were just dreaming about?

This isn’t about create a long list of lofty, unlimited ambitions.
This isn’t about the hyphen on your tombstone.
This isn’t about serving the mass and giving your life away to the seemingly needy.

This IS about living a life of intention and purpose.

For example, if you want to bake a cake… You must intentionally add eggs… Intentionally get out a bowl… Intentionally start the oven. Several ingredients and steps are necessarily to fulfill the purpose of producing a moist, hot, delicious cake.

Leave the eggs out of the cake and it would fall apart… Try cooking the ingredients without first mixing them in a bow… You’d have pudding but no cake if you never turn on the oven.

In a similar manner, there are certain components that are important to reach your ideal life. Figure out what needs to be added to create your moistest, hottest, most delicious self (okay, maybe that analogy has gotten a little weird, but you get the point).

Be determined.
Get there.
Your best self is not far away.
Write down your vision.
Get out of your comfort zone.
Expand your circle of influence.
And most importantly…

Everyday – without failure – add value to YOURSELF!


© Copyright 2014, Terrell L. McTyer. All Rights Reserved.
%d bloggers like this: